Forever Changed
by SafetyPinndSally
Summary: To change: physically and mentally it happens and we all go through it. It's a part of life and love, but not everyone changes for the better. Some are changed when maybe they shouldn't of been because who knows how things will turn out?
1. Morning Beautiful

Shadows filtered across the darkened room as the sun began to rise above the tree line. His body lay supine next to me as I watched him lay there, quietly dreaming to himself. He had no idea I was awake, but I it wouldn't be long before he would hear my heart hammering inside my chest as I gazed at this beautiful creature next to me.

I didn't deserve this wonderful man next to me and there was no way I could match his beauty and grace, even if I did become like him. We'd only been married two days and tonight was the night that my life would change forever.

"Morning beautiful…" The God spoke from beside me, his naked chest moving up and down slowly but without much purpose.

"Good morning yourself." I sighed happily as I rolled on to my side and buried my head in to the crook of his rock hard neck.

"Sleep well?" He asked as I felt his hands run themselves through my hair, gently massaging my scalp.

"Well enough. Should I bother asking you how you, um, slept?" I giggled as I felt a smile curve his mouth against my soft skin.

"Splendidly. Ready for today?" He said it in such a general manner that I couldn't tell what exactly he was referring to, but deep down I knew.

I merely nodded as we lay there for a few more minutes, basking in each other's radiance, although his mastered mine by a wide margin. Slowly I sat up, my arms reaching high above my head and I felt my shoulders pop and a small whine escaped my throat.

Within seconds his lips were on my skin, dazzling me with his soft yet cold touch. He trailed kisses down each of my arms, taking each of my hands in to his one at a time and all the while his eyes never left mine. Not once. Then his hands were at my sides, griping tightly and ready to strike.

"You wouldn't _dare_…" I glared at him, but he merely looked at me, an innocent look in his 

eyes.

"Never…" He gave me that crooked smile and then suddenly I was on my back and he was straddling me and the thoughts that ran through my head at that moment would make the dirtiest person blush.

"I love you." He spoke softly as his lips came down and touched mine briefly, too briefly.

"I love _you_…" I trailed off as I leaned up and took his lips with mine, brushing my tongue softly against his bottom lip, causing a low groan to emit from deep within his chest.

"It's a good thing we're changing you tonight" He broke our kiss and jumped up from the bed, to my great disappointment.

"Oh Edward…" I grumbled as I swept the thick comforter from my body and placed my feet on the floor.

Mentally I had to prepare myself for what was to come and that was mostly a lot of pain and being cooped up in the house for a year until I was under control.

Great, I hated being kept inside while everyone else got to live whatever lives they could. I would be comfortable, there was no doubt about that as Edward had gone through every length to get the best for me in my captivity.

They had it all planned out: I would be whisked away up north for the change to keep Jacob and his pals off our backs about the treaty. Once I was changed me and Edward would spend the first few months in a cabin in the middle of nowhere along with Alice and Jasper. They would hunt and bring me back something, but I couldn't leave. No, not until that first year was over with.

"Breakfast?" The word was spoken softly, but I could hint the laughter behind it.

"Sure, my last _true_ meal." I laughed as I stood and joined Edward's side, my hand searching out his hand and taking it.

We strolled at a casual pace down the hall of his family home, passing Alice and Jasper's room where things were still quiet and still. The rest of the house was filled with Esme's soft laughter which became all the more prominent once we hit the stairs and began our way down.

The Cullen's had a kitchen which they never used but Edward loved to cook, especially since I had moved in and was the only who could really enjoy his cooking. He really was a wonderful cook, although he did tend to keep meat rather raw, but that hardly mattered.

"Hey kids." Esme smiled up at us as we walked hand in hand in to the kitchen where she and Carlisle sat drinking coffee, which I never understood.

"Hey mom. Just thought I'd fix Bella her last meal before we head out tonight." Edward smiled that smile of his as he moved past me and began to pull things out from the fridge, which they only kept stocked for my benefit.

"Wonderful…" Carlisle smiled over at me before kissing his wife softly on the head and leaving the room.

I took a seat at the small kitchen table and turned myself to watch Edward as he prepared pancake mix and cracked eggs to beat. I glanced downward, his strong biceps moving quickly as he mixed the batter by hand.

The strong bands of his muscles proved taunt under his rock hard skin. I loved watching him cook, mostly because it gave me an excuse to gawk at him and wonder why he had chosen me, of all people.

I loved him, probably more than he loved me, but he constantly tells me that that isn't in the least bit true. We love each other _equally_, but that's a crock of shit if you ask me.

"Almost done…" He smiled over at me, a dusting of white powder sat on the tip of his nose, not that it stood out much against his pale skin.

"I see." I laughed as I stood and glided over to him, wiping my finger along his nose and sticking it into my mouth; powdered sugar.

Laughing he wrapped an arm around my waist as he slid eggs and pancakes on to my plate and set it aside. Smiling gently down at me his head tilted and soon my lips were captured by his as he leaned me up against the counter. The kiss deepened, but not too much because there always had to be control with us, at all times.

Pulling away I smirked up at him and rested my head against his hard chest. Soon we wouldn't have to be careful; we could let out emotions sweep us up and do what we pleased. He could have me any way he wanted and I was more than willing to allow that to happen. In fact I probably wanted it more than he did at this point.

Smiling I took my plate and went to resume my seat at the tiny table. He sat across from me, his eyes boring in to mine as I ate.

This was heaven to me. _He_ was heaven to me and I only hoped that it wouldn't change once I had changed. I was changing alright…I was changing in to a monster.


	2. Monster Girl

I hate packing, more for the simple fact that I never know what I'm going to need or not need and I always tend to either over pack or not pack enough. I should probably just let Alice do it for me but then again she'll just buy me an entire new wardrobe, plus lingerie that I probably won't ever need.

At just that moment I can feel eyes on the back of my head. Spinning around Alice is right behind me, any closer and I would have knocked her small figure over.

"Thought maybe you might need some help packing, I was right." She smiled up at me as she began to fold shirts, sweaters and pants and placing them all into my small suitcase.

"This suitcase just won't do. I'll be back." And she was gone, but only for about point-five seconds, a huge suitcase lying in her outstretched arms.

Within minutes my new and hugely improved suitcase was packed with everything that I owned and some things that I hadn't owned. A small piece of fabric lay on the very top of my sweaters, it was see-through and lacey and now my stomach was doing flips.

Did Alice honestly think I was going to feel even the slightest bit sexy after being changed into a ravenous and lethal vampire? Please, I hardly felt sexy now and I really don't think I'm the lingerie type.

"You might as well take that _thing_ out of my suitcase because I'm not going to be wearing it any time soon, if ever." I stated mater of factly, my arms crossed over my chest.

"So you think…" She just smiled up at me and taped the right side of her head with one finger; I hate it when she does that.

"Alice, please. I highly doubt Edward is going to want to even touch me the first week after he changes me." I felt myself shudder at the thought, because I know deep down inside that what I was saying was probably true.

"I will love you no matter what Bells." I jump at the sound behind me and at the pair of hands that have now snaked their way around my waste, squeezing gently.

Edward didn't say anything, but only smiled sheepishly as he spied the lingerie sitting at the very top of my suitcase. Picking it up he studied it at arm's length, holding it in front of me, assessing whether it would look good on me or not. I guess he liked what he saw because he smiled softly and set the skimpy outfit down on top of the rest of my clothes.

"I know Alice; we do need to get going soon." Edward replied to his sister's silent comments without taking eyes away from mine.

All of a sudden my knees feel like jelly and I'm fighting back tears. No matter what I tell myself I will never truly be ready for the moment that is to come in just a matter of hours.

I would do anything for Edward, he knows that, but I can't help but be afraid of what I'm going to turn in to, a blood-thirsty and very lethal monster. I mean I'm already weird being a normal human, who knows how I'll turn out once I'm turned. I could be just like Victoria or even worse. I could end up like Jane.

"Bella? What's wrong?" I can hear Edward's voice, but the words are just garbled and I can't focus on his face even though I'm looking right at him.

"I think she's gone into shock." I finally focus myself on Alice's tiny face in front of mine, her eyes filled with concern as she stares at me.

"I'm fine, just thinking." I say innocently as I walk quickly over to the glass wall and stare out at the setting sun behind the tree line.

"What I wouldn't give to be inside of that head of yours." Edward says playfully, his arms wrapping themselves around my waist once again, his chin resting atop my head.

"We should be going, I'll get Jasper and we'll meet you in the car." Alice smiled at the both of us as she picked up my suitcase and carried it out of the room.

"You don't have to do this Bella; I love you just the way you are." My stomach sank as I spun and stared up into Edward's perfect topaz eyes; not this again.

"I'm doing this. I can't stand being so inadequate when compared to you and I'm not going to die at the hands of the Volturi or any crazed vampire that wants to kill me this month. I'm done and that's done with a D. Change me or I'll have Alice do it." I was holding my own in this conversation and man was I loving it.

"I just think you should wait, go explore the world and try some new things. I can protect you from harm and I think I've done a pretty good job of doing so thus far." He too was holding his own, but it was the same song and dance as before, _"Go to college…blah, blah, blah."_ and I'm really getting tired of it.

"Yeah, I _know_ . Okay? I know Edward." I was so exhausted all I could do was sigh and head 

for the door.

In a matter of seconds his arms were around my waist and he was pulling me toward the couch and putting up a fight would be pointless. I felt a pair of hands cup my face, gently as to not squish my head in to a jelly pancake and then the tears started to roll.

Cradling me like a baby was something Edward did well and at that moment he was doing a damn fine job. I can't help but to always feel vulnerable while I'm in his arms and I guess it's because that's how he sees me; vulnerable and breakable. Well not anymore.

"Look, I'm sorry, I'm just a little nervous. I don't want to kill you or anything." He laughed as he said, but I knew Edward was all business and I knew he really was worried.

"I trust you and Alice would of said something if it were going to go wrong. Please Edward, _please_ let me be a part of your world…" I kissed him then, gently, but there was still power behind it and this time I was the one to break away first.

"Let's go then monster girl." He laughed as he pulled me up from the couch and led the way to the door.

And that's what I would be in just a matter of hours; a real _monster_.


End file.
